Running with the dogs
So one night some time ago, the pirates showed up at my old house in San Francisco. I don't recall the occasion, we didn't need one. We began the evening washing down good rum with cheap beer. I suggested taking the bottle and climbing the Marlboro Man, a 100ft tall Billboard that used to overlook the Bay Bridge. another suggestion was to go wander the dark abandon military tunnels at fort Funston. Good ideas, but we ended up walking down to the Haight and getting more Beer. We picked up a couple 12 packs of I don't remember what, and wandered aimlessly, finally settling down on a curb on Waller street. We sat and drank and waxed philosophical while trying not to decide what to do next. There we were minding our own business, when from out of the dark came some hippie girl who decided that we were a party, and she was invited. I don't remember why, but at some point she said that she was a vegetarian. This momentarily cleared my fog. A vegetarian! It was my drunken bastard cue, and I took it. "Why in Gods name would you damn yourself to a life of mere plant matter?". She said something about murder and poison, and I grinned "yeah, but TASTY GOOD murder and poison." She flashed a look that said I was disgusting. "Come on" I said, baring my teeth "haven't you...haven't you ever run with the Dogs?" I began gesturing wildly. Beer and spit flew in a fine mist. "...taken down an Antelope with your bare teeth? fangs clamped into its neck, the taste of spurting blood!...Eat or Be eaten!...WOOF!," I growled, "WOOOF!" I began barking and howling, biting at the air, turning and jumping in circles. One by one the pirates joined in. Even the hippie girl was barking along with us. Then came a voice from above. "SHUT THE F**K UP OR I'M CALLING THE COPS!!" The pirates looked at each other. "we gotta get out of here." "woof" I agreed. "We could go to my place..." It was the Hippie, I didn't trust her. "but not all of you..." she added. "My housemates might be asleep. Uh, You, You, and...You." Her last choice was a figure emerging from the darkness, wearing some sort of robes and carrying a big stick. He grinned and nodded, but said nothing. "I'm going home" I said, picking up what remained of the beer and watching as the four of them headed off down the street."You'll be back!" I yelled after them. The rest of us then went back to the house and finished the beer. Later I awoke to a sound, and opened the eye that was not pressed against the carpet, to see the two other Pirates come in. "howaazit?" I asked. "Lame" they said, almost in unison, "we woke up the roommates, and they got pissed"
"Woof!" I grunted, and sunk back into the carpet.
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