Fez

Ok, so I have been an avid Fez wearer for years,
and I am most often asked one of three questions.
1. What's the deal with the Hat?
2. Are you really a Shriner?
3. Do the Shriners know you stole that hat?
Well, Hmmm, lets see now...
1. What's it to ya?, Punk!
2. No, and this is not a Shrine Fez,
and
3. See answer #2.
Now, I have nothing but the highest respect for our fine Fezzed friends at the Shrine, but I am not trying to pretend to be, or make people think I am, a Shriner. I will say that the first Fez I ever acquired was indeed a Shrine Fez, but I ended up not wearing it because I felt that in a way it was like flying the colors of a club you are not in. So instead I set myself up with my own custom Fez shown above. But I still have to deal with the occasional question. They are usually benign, but there are those who feel compelled let me know (accompanied by a disgusted sneer) that I am not a Shriner, or in the case of those who know nothing of either, a Mason, and I explain that they are right, and that is why I am not wearing a Shrine Fez. If they are still there, I point out the Logo, a rhinestone studded, martini drinking Tiki with the crossed torches, and the leopard lining. Sometimes they warm up, sometimes they do their best to kill me with their eyes. It is usually older women who get the most upset. Maybe they are aged Rainbow girls, or Eastern star, or possibly their late husbands were of the craft. Maybe all of the above. Maybe they feel that I am mocking that which they hold dear. Who knows. But for some reason my Fez just pisses them off. They gesture at me, spilling their Johnny walker red over nicotine stained fingers. "Yur no schriner" they'll slur. I don't bother explaining, they usually wave me off anyway and turn back to the bar. "He'sh no schriner" they complain to the bartender. The Bartenders don't seem to care one way or another. A few years getting people drunk for a living and a guy in a funny hat is just not a big deal.
So, why do I wear the Fez?
I wear the Fez because it suits me.
Don't like it?
Then don't wear one,
Punk!



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